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It has been 14 years now. Recently, I suddenly remembered that when I was a child, I would aimlessly find creepy insects and rare stones to surprise and dismay everyone. Now I follow landscapes and things that my eyes catch sight of and that disappear in the blink of an eye. I strongly hope that if I can capture any of it, it will be something that will amaze everyone.

I have to be careful not to become inert from the point where I start drawing. But in my case, I am quick with my senses, and I just describe things without any room for thinking, so the way I draw remains the same. However, sometimes reason appears and tries to correct the past. It seems to be important how I face myself like that.

Today, without any particular goal or plan in mind, I wandered around and ended up at a line of trees that was very easy to see. I set up my tripod and canvas here, and for about 10 minutes I was still wondering whether or not to paint. However, I was playing around without any motivation or spirit to start painting. Once I started painting, my obsession appeared. The reason is that what I see when I look at the object is different from what I see when I look at the object. I keep chasing something that is blurred.

When I am painting leisurely in pleasant weather, my own thoughts suddenly enter my descriptions. Most of the time, I notice the foreign object, but more often than not, in order to process the foreign object, I end up describing it only for my own sake. I know that the destination is despair, because I have been there many times.

I started painting on my own in 2010, and my style naturally changed as my perception of the subject changed, but after 3 or 4 years, I began to look for a motif to paint first. I was in this state of mind for about 10 years, continuing to go through trial and error. I was looking for a reason to paint. Thinking comes later. It proceeds naturally while you are painting. I had completely forgotten that. This is one of today's paintings that I took on with a feeling of a fresh start.

The video shows a pencil sketch work that I usually draw. The music is Here Is Your Place from the album Book Apple by Takumi Seino, a guitarist and composer who is my mentor.

I have been a self-taught oil and pencil painter in Osaka City for about 10 years. The places where I can see the Yodogawa River in the video are especially instructive.

The only way to continue the feeling of "I don't have any evidence, but I sure do" is to continue the actions that go along with it.

Last night I had a migraine headache like I have never experienced before. At the same time, my deep negative self came out one after another.

I had been supported by the descriptions and works of several painters who had gone before me and who were considered to be "right on the money," so I had been able to transform my consciousness and change my paintings in various ways without hesitation, and I had been able to do so through conversations with people who had passed away and who were able to sympathize with me each time.

The art of catching the gaze, the eye, and the heart of what is seen when it is not seen is in the sky, and as the depths become dominant in the process of assimilation into the one being seen, the surface layer becomes simpler.